


What to Say to You

by ksdene



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-07-25 11:57:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksdene/pseuds/ksdene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron Burr does not have a crush on the, incredible, brilliant, beautiful, and most importantly married, graduate assistant in his Literary Criticism class.  That would be absurd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn’t like Aaron Burr was trying to be single; he just hadn’t found the right girl yet. At least, that’s what he told his family every time they asked. In truth, he wasn’t very good at relationships. Most people he dated wanted to be open and tell everyone they knew about their relationship. Aaron, on the other hand, had his reasons for taking things as slow as he could.

 

When he dated men, for example, it was because he wasn’t technically out yet. His grandfather was a well-known evangelical preacher; he wasn’t sure how well his family would take him being bisexual, and he definitely didn’t want to risk losing his trust fund or being written out of any wills.   At least, that was the excuse he always gave.

 

With women, on the other hand, it was a different story. Sure, he was much more likely to hold their hand in public and go on dates to actual “date” places, but he was never the first to say the l-word. Actually, he had never said the l-word, to anyone. He always felt like it was too soon; why commit when you could wait for it? After all, if the feeling remained, that meant they were truly in love. Most girls simply didn’t want to wait for it.

 

He met Mrs. Prevost in class. She was a graduate assistant in his Literary Criticism lecture. She was brilliant, and never backed down from a fight. While Aaron rarely spoke in the class, he appreciated her opinions. She also wore a gold band on her left ring finger, a fact that, Aaron constantly reassured himself, meant nothing to him.

 

She was the assistant assigned to grading papers of those students with last names that started with the letters A-D. When Aaron got his first paper back in that class, bearing a 78% in red pen he was confused. He followed the prompt to the letter, didn’t give any opinion that anyone could disagree with, and he knew his spelling and grammar were impeccable. He did what any reasonable student would do: he went to office hours and asked for an explanation.

 

Theodosia’s “office” hours took place in the back corner of the Starbucks just past the main campus gates. Aaron arrived 15 minutes early, ordered a peppermint mocha, and waited for the graduate assistant to appear. He would not describe the way she walked in as “floating”, no, that would be far too romantic for an undergrad to be describing the graduate assistant that graded his LitCrit papers. He waited another five minutes before sitting across from her, making small talk while he pulled out his paper and a pen from his bag.

 

“So you wanted to ask me about your paper, right Aaron?” She smiled in a way Aaron felt was far too knowing, as if he didn’t even really need to ask her anything because she already knew.

 

“Ah, yes… I’m a bit confused as to why I got such a low grade. I followed the prompt exactly, and I’m sure I didn’t misread it.” He took a sip of his coffee, studying her face as she raised an eyebrow.

 

“The prompt was to express your opinion and defend it. You gave a summary of two sides of an argument.”

 

“I didn’t want to choose the wrong side, I was giving both arguments an equal chance.” He looked over his paper as Theodosia gave him a look.

 

“Aaron, this is a literary criticism class. The whole point is to criticize literature, there is no right or wrong.” She took a sip of her own coffee.

 

“But-“ Aaron started to argue but was cut off.

 

“The writing was good, the opinions were weak. On the next paper, show me what you really think, and the grade will go up.”

 

“And if you don’t agree with my opinion?” The younger man asked, taking his turn to raise an eyebrow.

 

“If I don’t agree with your opinion I’ll at least know you can defend it.” Aaron sighed, admitting his defeat.

 

“I’ll keep that in mind Mrs. Prevost. I should go, I can see the line of people waiting their turn to contest their grades.” He started to pack up his things, and once he was sure everything was accounted for, stood up.

 

“Call me Theodosia, Aaron. Mrs. Prevost makes me feel old.” Aaron smiled and nodded.

 

“Have a nice afternoon Theodosia.”

 

“You too Aaron.” Aaron pretended not to hear the faint chuckle in her voice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Historical Theodosia Prevost Burr was ten years older than Aaron #themoreyouknow  
> As always, you can find me over at hamilshot.tumblr.com


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron Burr is in denial, and everyone knows it

Aaron walked back onto campus, trying to ignore the strange feeling in his gut. His phone buzzed, not once, not twice, but three times.

 

**Alex**

Study group tonight

**Alex**

U coming?

**Alex**

I know you have a paper to write

 

Aaron sighed at his roommate and texted a quick affirmative back before turning his music back on. His roommate, Alexander Hamilton had somehow convinced him to join his study group with some of his friends. It’s not that Aaron didn’t like John, Herc, or Laf, it’s more they were just….. boisterous. They had some kind of friendship, they were far from enemies, but he was definitely the most quiet of the bunch. He rolled his eyes as his phone buzzed one more time.

 

**Alex**

Usual spot in the basement

 

Aaron looked both ways as he crossed the street between the academic and residential sides of campus and made his way over to the side door of his dorm building and headed down the stairs into the basement. The building had a lounge just past the laundry room in the basement with couches, tables, and a television. They were sure once upon a time it had been a popular place to hang out, but for the most part, the exposed pipes and the flickering lights freaked people out. It was perfect, however for the group of friends, because they couldn’t be kicked out for being too loud. Aaron plopped down onto his usual spot on the couch next to Alex and pulled out his laptop.

 

“Hey there you are! You’re usually the first one here.” Alex laughed, not looking up from his computer.

 

“Even John was starting to get worried about you.” Hercules grinned as John shoved his shoulder. Aaron shook his head.

 

“I had a meeting with my LitCrit GA over that paper I bombed.” Aaron pulled out the prompt for his next paper and the book they were writing about, _The Great Gatsby_.

 

“Dude how many times do I have to tell you, a 78% is not bombing anything, you need to chill.” John rolled his eyes, biting his pen cap and punching something into his calculator.

 

“John that is the lowest grade I’ve ever gotten on anything. Excuse me for being a bit concerned.”

 

“So what did your GA say? Was it about the opinions? I told you you needed to actually express an opinion.” It was true, Alex had a habit of looking over Aaron’s shoulder as he wrote and interjecting with his own advice, and he _had_ told his roommate to be more firm in his opinion.

 

“Theodosia said the writing was fine, the grammar and spelling were fine, but you were right, she told me the opinions weren’t strong enough.” Aaron rolled his eyes as Alex had his ‘told you so’ moment. “She told me to push harder with my own opinion and my grade would go up.”

 

“Wait did you just call your GA Theodosia?” Laf raised an eyebrow. “I took that class last semester, and if we’re talking about the same GA, I recall her being very adamant about being called Mrs. Prevost.”

 

“Oh come on, it’s not that weird, most GA’s prefer students call them by their first names. They’re just grad students after all, not actual professors.” John countered.

 

“No, no, I specifically remember her telling us to call her Mrs. Prevost, she talked about how she had just gotten married to some British dude she met while working in London.”

 

“Yes, it is the same GA, Theodosia Prevost, and she told me to call her Theodosia.” Aaron wasn’t trying to blush, but unfortunately for him, Alex noticed everything when he didn’t have his head down in his laptop or a notebook.

 

“You _like_ her don’t you.” Aaron tried to shake his head while the rest of the group laughed. “Oh my god you do like her! That’s hysterical.”

 

“Well at least you don’t have to worry about the grade, you can just shack up with her for an A.” John moved to nudge Aaron’s arm with his elbow.

 

“ _John_ sleeping with your GA for a better grade is completely unethical!” Alex at least had the decency to try and look upset on Aaron’s behalf.

 

“Alex we all know you slept with your Microeconomics GA.” Herc gave him a look and Alex smirked.

 

“And we all also know I didn’t need to sleep with him for an A, he was just hot.” John made a gagging sound.

 

“Alex I don’t need to know about every sexual exploit you had before we started dating.” Alex rolled his eyes.

 

“John we all knew about that when it happened, you don’t get to act grossed out now.” Herc laughed. “But really, damn Aaron, I didn’t realize you had a crush on your GA.”

 

“I _don’t_ have a crush on my GA, don’t be ridiculous. One, she’s my GA, two she’s married, and three she’s way older than me. So even if I _did_ have a crush on her, which, again, I _don’t_ it wouldn’t matter, because it wouldn’t ever happen.” Aaron wasn’t sure when his voice got louder, or why it was shaking, but it was definitely not because that exact train of thought had been running through his head since the second week of class.

 

“I believe the saying is ‘ _the lady doth protest too much_ ’ though for all your….. shall we say, charms, Burr, femininity is not chief among them.” Laf pushed his book aside, all thoughts of his music theory homework pushed aside in favor of such drama.

 

“In all seriousness though, I don’t get it Aaron, if you love this woman go get her, what are you waiting for?” Alex gave him a look.

 

“I don’t have a crush on Theodosia. That’s completely absurd, so why don’t we drop it so I can work on my _Gatsby_ paper?” Aaron glared and flipped to the page he’d stuck a post-it in.

 

“Fine, fine, please enlighten us on the death of the American Dream.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look I actually updated a fic in a timely manner isn't this a surprise.  
> Feel free to shoot me any questions or comments in the comments or on tumblr at hamilshot.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

By the time the rest of their study group had left it was 1:30 am and Aaron and Alex were the only two left on the couches, typing furiously.

 

“In all honesty Aaron, do you like this GA?” Alex didn’t look up but he shifted his position more towards Aaron.

 

“Are we really having this conversation again? I told you, I don’t have a crush on Theodosia.” Aaron rolled his eyes, making more edits to his paper as he did so.

 

“I’m not going to tell anyone.” This caused Aaron to look up and give his roommate a look. “Really!” The smaller man replied incredulously. “Give me some credit, we’ve been roommates for two years, I’ve kept some secrets.”

 

“The fact that we’ve been roommates for two years is why I find it so hard to believe that you wouldn’t tell everyone about my love life. If I had one. Which I don’t, so the point is moot.” Alex took his turn to roll his eyes.

 

“Let me ask you this then. If this girl wasn’t your GA, or married, would you ask her out?” Aaron completely stopped typing and looked thoughtfully at his roommate for a moment.

 

“I don’t know? Maybe?” He sighed, closing his laptop. “I mean she’s brilliant first of all. Not to mention beautiful.” Alex nodded thoughtfully. “When she laughs it’s like her face lights up. And she’s so obviously passionate about her work.” Aaron tried to ignore the heat rising in his face and Alex’s smirk.

 

“You really have it bad for this woman huh? To quote you, ‘let me offer you some free advice’.” Aaron snorted at the reference to their first day as roommates.

 

“Are you going to try to tell me to talk less, because that’s already what I’m doing.” Alex took his turn to laugh, readjusting his bun that had been falling apart towards the end of their study session.

 

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you Aaron. No, _my_ advice is this: tell her. There’s no harm in asking. If she says no? Oh well, you tried. If she says yes? Well hey that’s the optimal outcome.” Alex grinned.

 

“You forget the part where she’s the person grading my papers, and if I were to ask her out, which I’m _not_ going to do, because, you know, she’s married, it would probably have an adverse affect on my grade.” Aaron gave Alex a pointed glare.

 

“You need to learn to take some risks man. No risk no reward.”

 

“I take calculated risks. This is far from a calculated risk.” Aaron tossed his book back into his backpack. “It’s late, I’m going upstairs. You should probably sleep too; you and I both know you’re ahead on your class work and Eliza will probably kill you if you start pulling unnecessary all nighters again.” Alex rolled his eyes at the attempt to divert the conversation but got up, walking with Aaron to the elevator.

 

“Come on Aaron, you’ve been in five relationships since we’ve met and they’ve all ended because you wait too long to take any kind of real action. You know they say the definition of insanity is-“

 

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, _I know_.” Aaron interrupted, stepping onto the elevator and keying them up to their floor. “I’m just saying, it’s silly when we get into these crazy hypotheticals. It’s not going to happen, she’s married and definitely not interested in some second year undergrad in her LitCrit class.”

 

“And _I’m_ just saying you never know. Nothing’s impossible, don’t write off the possibility just yet.” Alex sighed. “Look, I’m not going to tell anyone. I just think after two years of living together I know what you’re like when you like someone, and you definitely like this woman.”

 

“I appreciate your discretion Alex, but even if I do like her like that, which I’m not 100% certain I do, it’s not going to happen, so there’s no point in discussing it further.” Alex held his hands up in surrender as they exited the elevator and made their way to their room. There was relative silence for a few minutes as the pair tossed their backpacks down and changed into pajamas.

 

“What percent then?” Alex asked from the bottom bunk right after turning the light off.

 

“What?” Aaron pulled his comforter up over himself.

 

“What percent are you certain that you like her?”

 

“I’m not answering this question. Goodnight Alexander.” Usually the full name got his roommate to shut up.

 

“You asked me that when I was trying to figure out how I felt about John. Now it’s your turn.” Aaron sighed and stared at the ceiling for a moment before responding.

 

“78%”

 

“That’s passing.”

 

“ _Goodnight Alexander_ ” Alex started to protest but stopped, knowing Aaron well enough to know he wasn’t going to get any further information tonight, and it was probably better for him to quit while he was ahead.

 

“Fine, fine, goodnight.” Aaron was too tired to even try and tell Alex off as he heard him get back out of bed and turn his desk lamp on to write. The roommate with the regular sleeping schedule dozed off to dreams he wouldn’t dare tell anyone he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I'm on a roll with these updates this is new  
> As always, feel free to let me know what you think in the comments or at hamilshot.tumblr.com. I live on feedback.


	4. Chapter 4

The next week of class passed by with relative ease for Aaron. Most of the time was spent analyzing _The Great Gatsby_ and discussing different arguments surrounding the book. The problem came when Aaron finished his first draft of his paper and asked his friend Eliza to look over it over coffee.

 

“I think it’s fine, but I’d definitely try to meet with your GA to make sure the argument is ‘strong enough’, you said that was a problem last time right?” Aaron sighed.

 

“I figured as much. Did Alex or John mention anything about my GA-“ Eliza cut him off with a sympathetic smile.

 

“John thinks you have a crush on your GA, I heard. Alex was surprisingly silent on the topic.” Eliza sipped her tea, trying to gauge Aaron’s reaction. She had never been able to quite figure out her boyfriends’ friendship with Aaron.

 

They’d all known each other since their freshman year the year before, but he’d always been kind of the odd duck of the group. Aaron and Alex were particularly strange friends. They’d bonded over common ground: their parents had died when they were young, they were both there on full scholarship, and they both wanted to study law.   However, they seemed to be just as different as they were similar. Where Alex had been in foster care, Aaron had been placed in the care of his grandparents. Where Alex desperately needed his scholarship, Aaron’s family had more than enough money. Where Alex was brash and impulsive, Aaron was cautious to a fault. Their differences had certainly caused their fair share of fighting, to those that didn’t know them well, it appeared they were barely friends at all. Yet there was also quite a bit of trust between them, all of their friends were sure that Aaron and Alex knew things about each other that the others didn’t know. When John had brought up Aaron’s apparent crush on his LitCrit GA, Alex had rolled his eyes and told John to knock it off. An action that Eliza found rather strange considering he was usually the first to tell when Aaron had been on a date.   Looking at Aaron’s reaction though seemed to cement her theory.

 

Aaron blushed and shook his head. “I wouldn’t call it a crush really. I’m not even sure I really like her like that. I mean she’s married, so it would never happen anyway.” He took his laptop back from where Eliza had moved it to read his paper and she smiled.

 

“Having a crush on a teacher is rough, I know. I had a crush on my choir teacher all through high school.” That got Aaron to crack a grin.

 

“Oh really, the ‘literally most pure cinnamon roll’ of our friend group had a crush on an older man? How did that work out?” He laughed at her fake pout.

 

“If you must know, I asked him out after graduation- don’t laugh I was drunk, Angie bought hard cider for my party with her fake ID- and he very kindly informed me that he was gay and about to ask his boyfriend to marry him.” Aaron offered a sympathetic shoulder pat, pretending to stifle his laughter.

 

“I’m sure he would have said yes if he were into women, and you were sober and not his former student.” She swatted his arm away and their laughter calmed down.  

 

“But really, I know how much it sucks, but it’ll pass. I mean, look how happy John, Alex, and I are together. You’ll find who you’re meant to be with eventually Aaron, I wouldn’t worry about it.” Eliza knew she had a knack for making people feel better about bad situations, and Aaron, at that moment at least, appreciated it.

 

“Thanks Eliza, really. So you think I should meet with her over this paper?” She nodded as her phone went off.

 

“Yeah, it couldn’t hurt to get an opinion from the person grading your paper after all.” She checked her phone and sighed. “It’s Angie. Apparently I’m late for our weekly ‘sister gossip fest’.” Aaron smiled and nodded.

 

“Go, I have some more work to get done anyway, and nothing is more terrifying than your sister when she’s kept waiting.” He helped her gather her things that had wound up spread out all over the table they had claimed. She grinned and gave her friend a quick half-hug.

 

“I’m sorry about the whole GA situation, if you need to talk to someone other than Alex, shoot me a text ok?” Aaron gave a quick affirmative and waved her off, pulling out his Western Theology textbook to start his next paper on the effects of Rome on the spread of Christianity.

 

He’d been working for about an hour when someone sat approached him.

 

“Aaron?” He pulled out his earbuds and looked up to see none other than his LitCrit GA herself, Theodosia Prevost.

 

“Theodosia, h-hi!” He didn’t mean to stutter, but he was definitely caught by surprise. She laughed a bit.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Mind if I join you? All of the other tables are taken.” Aaron looked around and surely enough, the coffee shop had filled up since the last time he looked up

 

“Yeah, of course, not a problem.” He shuffled his notes around to make room for her at the table. She nodded and sat down, taking a sip of her coffee.

 

“Are you a Theology major?” She gestured curiously towards his notes on Christianity in the second century AD.

 

“Ah, minor, actually. I’m majoring in English on the Pre-Law track.” She nodded.

 

“And Theology ties into law how?” She raised an inquisitive eyebrow, and Aaron had to restrain himself from shuddering under her stare. It was piercing, as if she could see into his very soul and gauge his intentions. He laughed to attempt to cover up the nervousness.

 

“Theology informs a lot of our modern legal systems and what laws are put in place. Law is essentially a moral code after all, and most people draw their morals from their religion.” It was a well-rehearsed answer, one he’d given plenty of times before, but something about the way she looked at him compelled Aaron to tell her more. “I wasn’t interested in it at first, trust me, but my granddad insisted that if I wasn’t going to major in it and go to seminary, I at least had to minor in it. He’s a…. preacher. It was really a coincidence that I found it relevant.” She hummed for a moment.

 

“You know that’s actually very interesting, I’ve never thought about law like that, but it makes sense.” She smiled, and Aaron didn’t quite understand why he felt a sense of relief when she understood, but he did anyway. “Your grandfather seems like a real hardass though if he pushed you to go into something you weren’t interested in.” She laughed a bit, and Aaron felt a bit embarrassed. He didn’t talk much about his granddad for a fairly good reason.

 

“Ah, well… He’s the head preacher of a pretty big church, he always wanted me to take it over when he retired.” He laughed nervously.

 

“You said in your introductory paper that you were from the area, what church? Maybe I know it” She took another sip of her coffee, brushing a curl out of her face.

 

Aaron considered not admitting it, he hadn’t told anyone much about his family since Alex’s particularly…. spirited reaction. Yet there it was, that stare that compelled him to honesty. “Covenant River…” He winced at her immediate flinch.

 

“Please don’t tell me your granddad is Jon Edwards.” He nodded and she just kind of gave him a look. “I didn’t peg you for a homophobic, bigoted, bible thumping-“

 

“I’m _not_.” He interrupted, much to Theodosia’s surprise. “I’m not like my granddad.” He took a deep breath, trying to seem composed. He supposed it was a better reaction than Alex’s, which had primarily consisted of yelling without regard to Aaron’s embarrassed protests. Theodosia softened a bit.

 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed… That was rude of me.” Aaron shook his head.

 

“No… no you’re fully justified in the assumption. I know better than anyone the kind of person my granddad is.” He sighed. “My roommate reacted much worse, thus, why I don’t talk about it much. Trust me your reaction was mild.” Theodosia leaned forward in her chair, resting her elbows on the table.

 

“So why’d you tell me?” Aaron blinked.

 

“What?”

 

“Why did you tell me? You know that to anyone with common sense would have that kind of reaction, and you easily could have named any other church and I would have believed you. Which leaves me to wonder why you would have told me about it.” She watched Aaron, studying his features as he formed a response. Aaron, in turn, took a moment to really consider it. She was right after all, it was stupid to tell her, he knew the kind of reputation his granddad and his church had.

 

“I don’t believe in lying.” He took a sip of his coffee. “If asked about something, I’ll tell the truth. I just don’t willingly tell people more than they need to know unprompted.” He took his chance to study her features, but couldn’t seem to get a read on her.

 

“Huh… I suppose that’s fair. Respectable even.” Theodosia shifted her weight again, this time to lean back in her chair. “You are quite the character Aaron Burr.” She smiled and Aaron felt his face get hot as he smiled back.

 

“That’s a new one.” She laughed and Aaron felt his stomach turn, but not in a nauseous way. Theodosia took a final sip of her coffee.

 

“I hate to cut this enlightening discussion short, but I’m afraid I’ve got to head to my last class of the day… Come by office hours some time, I’d like to learn more about you Aaron “not like his granddad” Burr. And bring your paper, I have a feeling you’re one of those students that asks to have his first draft looked over, and it’s due next Friday.” She stood, up, grabbing her bag from the back of her chair and waving goodbye.

 

“Y-Yeah- I mean- Bye!” Aaron sighed as she walked away, pretending not to stare at least. He shook his head “Real smooth there Aaron, real smooth.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one day? And one is twice as long as a normal chapter? Pretty sure the apocalypse is coming.  
> As always, feel free to talk to me in the comments or at hamilshot.tumblr.com


	5. Five

Alex always gave Aaron shit for not being open about his feelings and opinions. It was a frequent topic of argument between them, anyone who knew the two roommates could tell you that. Alex, however, did not have the stress of trying to stay on the good side of his well meaning, but horrifically bigoted family. Covenant River Christian Church was the kind of church Fox News loved and everyone with common sense hated. Homophobia, xenophobia, any kind of hateful belief could find a home in that congregation. It was _massive_ and, to the fortune of the Edwards and now Burr Families, profitable.

 

Aaron’s grandfather Jon Edwards had been the head pastor for as long as Aaron could remember, and he knew that his great grandfather had founded the church. Part of Aaron’s parent’s marriage was based on the fact that if they were married, Aaron Burr Sr. could take over the church when Jon retired, and they’d still be able to keep it in the family. It wasn’t an arranged marriage per say, but they were definitely… encouraged to pursue a relationship. While his parents weren’t particularly in love when they got married, Aaron liked to think what feelings were there had grown stronger in the time they were together.

 

Aaron couldn’t remember his parents. They had died when he was two, some illness Aaron never bothered to ask about; people got too sad when he brought it up. One of his earliest memories was standing next to his sister, only a year older than him, staring at the caskets and wondering why his parents were sleeping.

 

Sally and Aaron lived with their aunt and uncle after their parents died, though they spent just about as much time at their grandparents’ home as they did their own. They’d grown up in the church and all its hatred. There were pictures of them holding signs that said words they could read but not understand the gravity of. Aaron was ashamed to say that until high school he had spit the same burning vitriol his family had become so infamous for.

 

As they got older neither Burr sibling wanted anything to do with the Family Business. They were fortunate enough to have met the right people who took the time to show them how disgusting their family’s views actually were. For Sally, it had been the girls on her softball team. Sports had always been her “thing”, and on the field it didn’t matter who you were, just how you played. Aaron, on the other hand, was a bit trickier of a case. He wasn’t exactly the most popular, between the old adage “no one likes the smartest kid in the class” and the fact that his beliefs alienated a significant portion of his classmates. It was an English teacher that had quietly given Aaron the push he needed to break away from his family’s line of thinking. Between Mrs. Custis and his sister, Aaron had gone from being the freshman most likely to take over the church to the senior who wanted to study law and had come to terms his (though kept primarily in the closet) bisexuality.

 

Still, both Aaron and Sally knew that they were better off doing the bare minimum to appease their family than to risk loosing everything.

 

Aaron looked forward to Sunday evenings for one reason: dinner with his sister. Every Sunday the siblings Burr drove home to attend (see: quietly suffer through) church services and lunch with their grandparents, uncle and aunt, and cousins. Afterwards they had lunch with the family, and did their best to sit through a polite amount of “family time” before coming up with excuses as to why they had to leave early, usually something regarding tests to study for or papers to write and each drive off in their own cars.

 

They’d meet up at a Dairy Queen in the next town over for dinner.

 

“Well that was quite the sermon wasn’t it” Sally rolled her eyes as she dipped a fry in her cookie dough Blizzard. “’We must protect the unborn from the sinful actions of their whore mothers’” She did her best impression of their grandfather while Aaron stifled a laugh.

 

“Ah yes, Jon Edwards, the all knowing abortion expert. What would we do without his knowledge on all women.” He took a bite out of his chicken strip.

 

“Honestly, I doubt granddad has seen a vagina since Uncle Tim was conceived.” Sally made a face and her brother gagged on a sip of soda.

 

“That is not an image I needed, thanks Sal.” Aaron fake glared while his sister laughed.   “Honestly, I tuned out most of the service. Day dreaming is much more entertaining than listening to that disaster.” He took a bite of his toast as Sally nodded. “How’s Tapping?” Sally brightened at the mention of her boyfriend.

 

“He’s doing great actually. He finally convinced his doctor to write him a prescription for testosterone, so he’s really excited.” Aaron smiled.

 

“It’s about time, Christ, he’s been trying to get on it for what, two years now?” Sally had met her boyfriend Tapping their freshman year of college in their Elementary Chemistry class, and they had been dating for the three years since then.   He and Aaron had become fairly good friends, much to Sally’s relief.

 

“I know, it’s absolutely ridiculous, but he starts his first dose tomorrow, I’m really happy for him.” She grinned, leaning back in her chair and letting it tip slightly backwards. “What about you? You haven’t mentioned anything in your thrilling saga of romantic exploits recently.” Aaron gave her a look.

 

“If by thrilling you mean my usual cycle of two or three dates and then getting ghosted?   I’m afraid I don’t have much to report.” He dipped another chicken strip into his ketchup. He’d gone back and forth the past month, trying to decide whether or not he should tell his sister about his crush on Theodosia. On one hand, he knew she’d only tease him a little bit over it, wouldn’t ask too many questions, and mostly take him seriously. On the other hand, he didn’t want to have her think anything was going to happen in a situation that was honestly impossible. Still, Sally had been his go to person for any kind of advice he’d needed in his life. Why should that be different now? “Hey Sal? Can I ask you something?” His sister raised an eyebrow but nodded.

 

“Of course baby brother, you know you can come to me for anything.”

 

“What do you do when you have a crush on someone that is not only married, but would also be wildly inappropriate to engage in a relationship with, even if she were single and interested?” He tried to hide his embarrassment while his sister just sipped on her Diet Coke calmly.

 

“Well, you have two options: you can respect that she is a married woman and thus, probably isn’t interested in a new relationship, or you can damn the consequences and ask her out. If she says no, back off.” Sally chewed thoughtfully after taking a bite of her burger. “Professor or grad student?”

 

“Grad student.” Aaron sighed.

 

“Well at least she doesn’t have direct control of your grade, and has a supervisor to report to. At risk of sounding cheesy Aaron, you should probably just go with your gut instinct.” Aaron groaned.

 

“I hate when you pull the gut instinct card” Sally grinned cheekily and Aaron decided to take his revenge by stealing some fries from his sister’s tray.

 

“You only hate it because I’m right. Look, just do whatever you feel like you’ll regret not doing and you’ll be fine. What could possibly go wrong?” She laughed and Aaron shook his head.

 

“You know that’s the only way to insure that something will definitely go wrong.”

 

“Please, that’s pure superstition. And you know-“ Sally returned to her impression of their grandfather “’superstition is just a tool made by the devil to keep us away from God’” She dissolved into giggles and Aaron joined in. They spent the rest of the evening that way, mocking dumb things their relatives said, and getting everything out of their systems that they couldn’t express around the rest of their family. It was therapeutic really, to be able to complain about their family without being told that they should just leave. Other people just didn’t understand how complicated these things can be, and the merits of waiting for the right time to do things.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, I wrote significant portions of this while in the bathtub. This was mostly to give some background on Aaron's childhood and family honestly.  
> As always, feel free to talk to me in the comments or over at hamilshot.tumblr.com


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confessions are made, even if the methods that got them there were technically unethical

No one could say that Aaron Burr was not patient. Nearly two months had passed without him making any mention of Theodosia Prevost to his friends, and quite honestly he had managed to keep any thoughts that were inappropriate for a student-instructor relationship to himself. Most of his friends, especially Alex had cajoled him about it at first, but after a while they were on to the next bit of drama. Alex and John had gotten into a fight, and quite honestly, if it had not been for the divine intercession of Eliza Schuyler herself, the trio may have been done for good. Aaron had done his best to make Alex see sense, though he had to agree that they were both over reacting. Honestly though, the fight had barely lasted a week before the three of them were back to their incessant and nauseating public displays of affection.

 

Yes, Aaron Edward Burr was proud to say that he had not been the center of friend group drama in quite a while. His grade in his LitCrit class had improved as he slowly but surely began to interject more of his own opinion rather than vague criticism, and he’d stopped going to Theodosia’s office hours, determined to shake what he considered to be impossible from his mind and refocus on his academics, despite his sister’s advice. He just didn’t feel like it was a good thing to pursue, he was certain there was something in the student code of ethics against romantically pursuing your instructor. Still, his Gatsby paper had earned him an 85%, and his paper on Mrs. Dalloway had brought him up to a 90%. He was sure his grade would only continue to increase when it came to his next paper on the Yellow Wallpaper, so he was clearly surprised to find a 68% on the top of his paper accompanied by a note: _“See me in office hours. –TP”_ written in the now familiar pointed manuscript he’d come to associate with his GA.

 

Aaron made his way to the Starbucks, timing his arrival for no less than five minutes after the start of office hours, so as not to appear eager. He knew there was no use in getting angry about the grade, despite his certainty of the quality; even Alex had read over it and approved. No instead his breath was calm and his responses measured. Still, he didn’t waste any time on small talk when he sat down across from Theodosia.

 

“Theodosia, I honestly don’t understand why my grade was so low on this paper. I know before the issue was I didn’t insert enough of my own opinion, but this time I honestly feel like I made every improvement possible from my last paper. I even had the most opinionated, argumentative person I know go through it and he said it was the most opinionated thing I’ve written. I respect you as an instructor and as a graduate student in your field, but I honestly think you’ve made a mistake.” Aaron did not feel as if he’d rushed through, but couldn’t help but feel out of breath. It didn’t help that it seemed that she had a guilty smile on her face.

 

Theodosia laughed nervously and took a sip of her coffee. “Aaron relax. I wrote the wrong grade on your paper. You got a 98%. Check the online grade if you don’t believe me.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow in response, pulling out his phone and checking the online gradebook- a 98%. The younger man simply stared in response, placing a hand on his forehead. “I don’t suppose you have an explanation for this?” Aaron questioned, taking a deep breath to collect himself.   He was surprised when he saw a hint of a blush underneath her grin.

 

“Ah, well, you stopped coming into office hours, and I really did enjoy our conversations…” Theodosia trailed off, suddenly looking incredibly interested in the hair tie on her wrist. “I’m sorry that was incredibly unprofessional and I am realizing what an awful idea that was.” She had the look of a person who had made a bad decision and was just now realizing the weight of it, quite possibly because that’s exactly what she had done.

 

“You… gave me a fake bad grade… because you wanted me to come into office hours?” The gears in Aaron’s head started turning but not so fast that he could say he had any semblance of understanding of what was going on. Theodosia buried her face in her hands.

 

“Look, I’m so sorry, it was idiotic, I really don’t know what I was thinking.” She looked up to try and gauge Aaron’s reaction, which most frustratingly of all was almost impossible to accomplish. He simply continued to stare at her as she continued to apologize. Eventually she sighed and made a decision. “Look, I’m already in hot water for doing this, so I might as well put all my cards on the table: I like you Aaron Burr. In what I think is a romantic sense. And yes I know this is wildly inappropriate, and you have every right to file a complaint and report me, but I wanted to be honest with you, so at least there’s that.” Theodosia pushed her hair out of her face nervously, trying to hide the embarrassment. Why did she do that? Quite honestly, what had convinced her that any of this was a good idea she’ll never know. She was normally reserved, quiet, _appropriate_ in her actions, and dear lord what was she doing admitting romantic feelings towards a student when, as she was reminded every time she looked down at her hand, was most definitely married. What was worse that was every moment Aaron sat there in stunned silence, was another moment she could feel her stomach sinking further and further.

 

Eventually, after a few moments, Aaron spoke, much to Theodosia’s relief. “Oh… I… See.” And the relief was gone. Theodosia thought for a moment that maybe Aaron was just incapable of expressing an opinion, or trying to spare her feelings before he spoke again. “Well if we’re being honest… I do admit I’ve had… similar feeling for you. I just didn’t think it was appropriate for a student and a teacher, not to mention you’re… well… married…” He trailed off, looking equally as embarrassed about his own admission. Theodosia, upon hearing this, however, took a deep breath, and finally managed to compose herself, tying her hair up into a ponytail and smiling, trying to hide her sheer and utter relief that at least this crush, if that’s what it even was, wasn’t unrequited. Aaron too, took a deep breath. “I appreciate your honesty, really, though the way you went about it wasn’t the most… ethical. I won’t report you, don’t worry.” Aaron took another pause. “I don’t really know where to go from here though.” It was his turn to look a bit nervous, fiddling with an old ring of his father’s that he wore on his index finger.

 

Theodosia studied Aaron’s face for a moment before taking out a piece of paper and writing a phone number, the name of a restaurant, and a date and time: Saturday, 8:30. “Jacques is out of town this weekend, and there’s a restaurant I’ve been wanting to try. Meet me there, don’t meet me there, it’s up to you, and I’ll hold no judgment against you either way.” Theodosia looked at the time and mentally swore. “I have to go to class now, but… consider it. Otherwise we can pretend this never happened.” She gathered her things and got out of her seat, pulling her bag over her shoulder. “I’ll see you around Aaron.”

 

Aaron simply stuttered out a surprised goodbye, examining the paper before shooting Alex a text message.

 

**New Message To: Alex**

Code purple

 

**Alex**

 

Holy shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sober and I haven't touched this, or any fic actually, in like six months, so I'm not sure of the quality of this honestly. College y'all. This chapter actually does serve a purpose other than to kick start the relationship. I really wanted to fix the imbalance of power created by Theodosia being Aaron's instructor. By giving Aaron the power to report her for something other than romantic advances, which he wouldn't do and she could easily deny, it makes me feel a bit less squick about writing a teacher/student fic. Not to mention that won't be an issue after the semester ends in the story.
> 
> As always you can find me on tumblr: hamilshot.tumblr.com


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